Switching Coasts

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Ad for Adderall

Are you casually apathetic?
Are you mildly indifferent?
Do you have fewer than 2 hours to write your thesis?
It'samiracle corp brings to you their finest new chemical endeavor:

Adderall.

Do you remember what It'samiracle corp's Marijuana Plant did creativity? And what their massively popular Shrooms did for existentialist thought and budding novice philosophers?

Their newest invention Adderall (patent pending) brings you once again into a different plane of existence.

This time, you fly to a land of unequivocally focused thought. Like a nerd with a pair of newly taped glasses, everything suddenly snaps back into focus.

Are you a procrastinating, stoned sorry excuse for a student? (ie: a pothead senior)?
Did you put off that senior thesis until the night before it's due?
Pop an Addie and your need for eating, drinking and sleeping will melt away and mutate into a formless, shapeless, spikey yet enjoyable concentration.

It'samiracle corp. Adderall. Getting Your Ass In Gear. (c)

Sunday, May 01, 2005

chicka-chickaaaaaaa!

neeeeyaaaaaaarrrrrhhhh!!!!! Just like a damn coke high, I'm shaking and shimmying my way through life right now. I have WAY too much excited, nervous, crazed, happy, hyperventilatory energy.

10 days: last day of college
15 days: last final exam in college
20 days: graduation, mofos.

~80 days: san francisco


Shit yeah, it's cool.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

HHGTTG

omg. omg. omg. tonight @ 12:01 I will be graced with the Hitchhiker's Movie. I can't wait. I really can't anymore. Tim as Arthur! Rickman as the voice of Marvin! Mos Def as Ford - well, we'll see how that goes.

OMG.

/nerdiness

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

hearts

can i just say that i heart gay guys and gay bars. and debra for being so cool. can I say that? of course I can! It's my fucking blog!

DC is beautiful. It's really sweet to live so close. Or far, depending on if I'm driving or not :)

Monday, April 25, 2005

done it

I know what I'll do when I've done it - moved in and am comfortable in my place in SF. When I've done it, I am going to stumble the few to several blocks to Golden Gate Park, walk through the tunnel, up and around the play area and through the field to Hippie Hill. I'm going to spin around a few times and fall to the soft, sweet-smelling grass in a stoned-out-of-my-mind stupor and close my eyes, feeling the warm sun calm the blood and relax the muscles in my body.

That's going to be what I do.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

limpy

The people at the party were flaccid and empty except for the one thing that they all clung to with their outstretched claws: their boring, dull sorosititute heteronormative sameness.

Hella Tight

So I'm moving to San Francisco. Yeah, it's going to be pretty sweet. I've lived on the east coast (upstate NY/Maryland) all of my 21 years of life and I can't wait to break through the candy-coated layer and go west to the tootsie roll center of my dreams!

How many licks does it take?

1 to be a senior in college
1 to reassess my life and decide I really, really should go with the culinary path I once envisioned for myself
1 to have an interview at a culinary academy in SF
1 to fucking fall in love with the city
1 to smile and take in all of the blessed looseness of the city's pot laws

and crrrrunch! done and done.

So myself, my friend Debra, my roommate and her boyfriend are all trekking out there in late summer after we all pass our classes and graduate!

I've been searching around on craigslist for a place to live even though I have been told that it's way too early to start looking for a place for late summer - and it is. There are no openings. But this doesn't stop me from obsessivley checking and re-checking the listings up to six times a day to find that there's another 2-bedroom up for rent in the USF/Panhandle area! And this one has laundry on site! And this one allows cats! and dogs! But ah, they'll be gone... probably tomorrow, to some lucky cunt who doesn't even deserve such a nice place!!! DAMN YOU!

But it's okay, because we'll find a really tight pad. That sounds like something awful. A tight pad. How uncomforting. But that's how they talk over there - 'hella cool' 'tight' 'rad' 'dude.' So I'm practicing. We're going to have a really nice apartment that allows at least cats. At least. And a nice kitchen. And a nice bathroom. With washer/dryer. And hardwood floors. And lots of light. And.

It's 3:13am and I am wide awake dreaming and drooling over San Francisco real estate that I will never be able to have. I'm hella awesome.